Hitting A Wall

Only after a true two weeks of determined work I have hit a wall. Not a wall that makes me think that the words I use are foolish or wrong. Not a  wall that makes me feel like I have lost my voice on script. I’ve just hit a wall. This wall makes me feel like doing this, this logging of info, seems pointless. Because let’s face it. Trying to get somewhere in this fashion is hard. Very hard. It’s not easy and most people give up because of this “wall.” I’m trying to figure out whether or not this “wall” is a turning point or an ending point.

This is causing me to bounce my head back and forth and it’s not fun by any means and getting my ass whiped in “Dark Souls III” because my heads not in the game, isn’t helping. I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do. I’ll stay posted but it wont be the most thought out work.

And all of this on the eve of maybe getting an invite to Overwatch’s stress test beta this weekend. *sigh*


The Edge of Immersion

The idea I have for this blog is that this place will be my own spot on the internets to talk about my gaming experiences, my likes, dislikes, and ideas among other things. This is here to be my take on gaming, my feelings for characters, events, new IP directions, but mostly it’s here so I can be true to myself.

So let’s start.

I figured out in 2007 that my taste in video games went past just playing “Madden” or “MLB the Show.” Don’t get me wrong. I like those games, especially baseball, but there isn’t a dire need to buy one every year. I realized, thanks to an up all night gaming session with “Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion” that there are some pretty badass games out there. And all I need to do is broaden my gaming horizons.

What was once just something I did to pass the time with on weekends slowly trickled into a serious passion. Suddenly I was looking up information about games, old and new. I wanted to see what other games were out there like Oblivion and because at the time I didn’t have a PS3 I was forced to live vicariously through others. But when I finally got that PS3 you better believe that Oblivion was the very first game I purchased. That and Assassin’s Creed. The historian in me couldn’t pass that one up.

These two games lifted me to a whole other world. Suddenly I was wrapped up in some ancient grudge between Assassins and Templar’s that was ultimately leading to some real world conspiracy. All while I was trying to both close the gates of Oblivion and preventing the bloodline of Tiber Septim from perishing. Just remembering it now reminds me of all the hours I spent exploring and immersing myself into these games. That’s what makes gaming so special to me.

Video games aren’t just games to me anymore. I’m not just sitting in front of a screen jumping over barrels and firing turtle shells across a rainbow road to sabotage other drivers. True, that may have been super fun but now I’m immersing myself into these games. I throw myself into these worlds and I become one within it. Sounds overly dramatic right? Well I would agree, which is why I don’t say that out loud. But for all the hours I spent walking about in the cities of video games I become invested. It’s funny to think about it now, but the other day I had a customer come in to the store asking me about “Tom Clancy’s Division.” He asked me what kind of game it was. So I explained it’s a third person shooter with elements of an MMO. However in this game it’ll remind you of the Rainbow Six games of old. You know the one where you had four extraction teams and it was your job to go in quickly and quietly to rescue the hostages from the terrorist; I put some miles on that game. But one thing was always sure. I always tried to walk out of the missions without any collateral damage or any deaths to my team, kind of like “Socom Navy Seals.” Never leave a man behind. Either we all go down or I’m dragging you out of this mission by your collar. But if I lost a man, it hurt me. I honestly felt bad. I didn’t realize it at the time but thinking about it now. I realize that my “immersion” approach to gaming goes back to when I was even 11 or 12. It’s an approach that either really sells me onto a game or doesn’t.

Oblivion for example was my first game in the Elder Scrolls series. If you have ever played any of those games you’ll know that there is a ton of lore in them. The history addict in me loves this. It makes it that much more real. The fact that you could dungeon crawl into old Ayleid ruins always gave me goose bumps. I loved it so much my house in Skingrad was a shrine dedicated to the Ayleid relics of old. Collecting relics wasn’t even part of that game. I just loved to do it. I wanted to know more about the lore of the game, so I read books, in game and out of. I read web pages and wiki notes. I couldn’t get enough. And yes, you better believe that when Skyrim released I spent at least four years playing it consistently over the span of seven characters, maybe eight. The point is I immerse myself in my games. This is my edge. I hope. I see things in the way of my character. I role-play if you will. So much so that sometimes it drives me from a game. Sometimes I can’t deal with certain aspects of a game and emotionally I need a break.

Crazy huh?

A New Player Has Arrived

Into the gaming community that is. At least that is what I’m going to try to do. It’s a pretty common dream now, I think. Many people every day are trying to do the same exact thing. The only real difference is how they go about trying to get there. Maybe It’d be smarter if I went ahead and spent hours streaming and editing to a small number of viewers in hopes that my big break was around the corner. I could stream 24 hrs and hope more than 20 people come and stop by. I’ve been there. Done that. And now I don’t think I can do that, right now at least. Being in front of a camera is not my strong point. I’m a “Behind the scenes” kind of person. I have literacy skills. Yes, I play games for hours on end. But at my pace. I can take my time and explore the world that I’m in. I immerse myself into that world. This, I think is my advantage.

But who am I and why should anyone care. Honestly, I couldn’t answer that. I’m just another person trying to stake some claim in the ever changing gaming industry. That’s all. I work like anyone else. I got to school. I keep hobbies. Play games. “But what sets you aside from all the other blogs, websites, streamers, and youtubers out there?” Again, nothing. I’m just following a passion, a dream. However, I do spend a good time around games and the sales of them. Yes I know, selling games doesn’t really count when it comes to being in the industry. But I’m surrounded by information on titles, original ip’s, companies, and game developers. I have a chance to hear and read about them. The one thing sales allows me to do with great satisfaction is teach and explain a game, or its gameplay to someone unknowing. Maybe even open the eyes of someone who only limits themselves to Grand Theft Auto or Madden 24/7.

Working in the sales of games has definitely opened my eyes in what sales and what doesn’t. Who buys this and who buys that. I’ve learned first hand what drives people to make the decision to purchase games that are growing in price. I see these things. I experience these things. And I feel these experiences allow me to take heed and be subjective for the gaming world. Because as the gaming industry trail-blazes its way into the next generation of gaming, ie: virtual reality, it leaves behind so many who have still yet made the switch from av cable hook ups to HDMI’s. But then again  technology doesn’t slow down for anyone. You either catch up with times or get left behind.

However those are topics for a later post. So I digress. For now.

But getting back to the goal of this blog. This is my attempt to join the industry I admire so much. It’s my chance to finally join the ranks of some of those gaming and streaming greats. I’m a culinary man turned historian following his passion for gaming.